A Christmas Hitting List

santa

Dear Santa,

Here is a Christmas list for baseball and softball hitters: 

  • A batting helmet with built-in speakers connected to a play list of favorite “psych” songs
  • A colorful pair of batting gloves to distract and intimidate pitchers
  • Eye glasses for home plate umpires who call too many strikes
  • Sliding shorts without padding, because sliding is not necessary after hitting a home run
  • A stick of eye black to write “love notes” to pitchers on the bat
  • A bat that can be blamed after hitting a pop-up or into a double play
  • Extra absorbent wrist bands to wipe away the tears of opposing pitchers after a long home run
  • A bat weight that makes a loud laughing sound to entertain the crowd
  • Pine tar for a better grip on the bat and to play practical jokes on teammates
  • Bubble gum to chew loudly to annoy catchers into calling the wrong pitch.

Thanks, Santa!  Merry Christmas!

Your Favorite hitter

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